The Monsters
by Katianna
Summary: And you become a monster, so the monsters will not break you (full of shal-bashing angst, ShalJesse Pairing, FINIS!)
1. Chapter 1

The Monsters

By Katianna

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Genre: ANGST!!

Pairing: Shal/Jesse (just for Rain coz she asked so nicely)

Disclaimer: I don't own the recognisable characters or situations, they belong to Tribune Entertainment and the rest, but I do own the storyline and writing. I'm not making any money out of this writing, I do it just for fun. (which shows you how messed up a person I am)

AN: Quite often I find peeps asking for background on my fics. I don't intend to give any in this particular case. It's going to start here and work forwards. I'll give some bits and pieces away, but prally not enough to satisfy you vultures ;) Just so you know.

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"And you become a monster, so the monsters will not break you."

U2, Peace on Earth

'There is nothing.' She whispered to herself. 'Nothing nothing nothing.' And she wished it were true, wished she could believe it as his weight collapsed on top of her, panting a wheezing after his exertion. 'Nothing Nothing Nothing.' She sobbed as he stood and left, closing the door behind him. The floor was cold beneath her bare skin, the restraints tight on her wrists, rubbing to the bone.

Something deep within her wanted to pull out of the despair, to rattle at her chains, to shake at her restraints, to scream her anger to the room and all that could hear her beyond that.

But the puppet's strings had been cut, unable to do much more that scratch and shift under the hands of the others; and screaming only brought the Fist, or worse, the Knife. So she would lay and wait until the next time the Fist or the Knife or the Dick got bored and then she would resume her chant. 'There is nothing. There is nothing.'

"Adam, please."

"No Emma. I can't give you any more. You've already had more than is good for you. If you still can't sleep then more sedative isn't going to help. Try warm milk." Emma sighed and slipped into a seat as Adam continued to bustle around the lab.

"Milk makes me dream. I don't want to dream Adam." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Have you been having nightmares again?" He stopped bustling and turned so that he could talk to Emma properly.

"It's the same one, Adam. Always the same one. I can't help but wonder" Adam sighed and turned away again.

"She's dead Emma. You saw her yourself. You can't keep torturing yourself with possibilities. Your mind is providing the dreams because you don't feel you can be sure."

"But we _can't_ be sure. We couldn't bring her home. What if she is still alive and I really am getting hits off her."

"Why would they have healed her Emma? What would they stand to gain? By your description of her injuries it would have taken a lot to save her. No Emma, it's been a month now, you have to let her go before you drive yourself mad with this." He bit his lip, turning to hide the tears that were welling in his eyes.

"Adam?" He composed himself to turn back to her.

"What?"

"When was the last time _you_ slept?" She didn't allow him time to answer, standing and walking out of the lab.

She found herself wandering Sanctuary aimlessly, not quite sure exactly where she wanted to go, nor what she wanted to do. Finding herself in the kitchen she picked up an apple, playing with it for a while before putting it back in the bowl uneaten and moving on. She picked up a pencil and pad as she headed out into the main hall to take a seat by the meditation pool. She had found on these restless nights, when the sedatives in her blood stream pulled at her to sleep, but something else held her in the land of the waking, something would find itself flowing out of her hand, whether it was a letter, a story or a poem. Tonight she found a sketch appearing, soft strokes of the pencil giving the paper person a soft chin, strong jaw, dark eyes, flowing hair She paused and took her pencil off of the paper to look at what she'd drawn. It was Shalimar, there was no doubt about that. She added a twist to the mouth, forming it into a wicked grin.

Tears pulling at the backs of her eyes she blinked to push them away, opening her mind to the world around her as she had done so many times before. "Shalimar. Shalimar, please, I'm looking for you." She appealed, holding the picture tight in her hand, tears beginning to fall. She never expected an answer

It was the Knife. She recognised his footsteps even before he laughed at her side. The Knife had always been the worst of the three, the others could be ignored to a certain extent and the noises they made blocked out by loud enough chanting in her mind. But the Knife was different. It was the Knife's work that had made her weak and nearly helpless in their captivity, the metal at the back of her neck that tapped and rattled on the cold floor when she shifted and rubbed harshly if she slept in the wrong position.

Today it seemed, he was interested in her face. It was strange; he seemed to leave her face for times when he was especially happy or excited about something, like it was a treat for him. There were fewer neatly stitched lines on her face than on any other part of her body.

He stroked the pads of his thumbs across her eye-lids, laughing again as she flinched away from him. She had long since learned that it was better to keep her eyes shut during sessions with the Knife, blood in her eyes with no way to wipe it out was agony. But after a while in the three's care she had decided it would be better to keep them shut permanently. She felt safer in the darkness, and she felt she might go mad with the same four walls looking back at her in their relentless silence. A recent session with the fist had left her with her face so swollen she thought she might never open her eyes again and something within her cried out at the thought. Another thing taken from her.

She lay still.

The Knife used a swab - as always - to clean the area he would work on, leaving her face cold and tingling. She wondered if this was why he was worse - the care he took over giving her pain. All wondering was abandoned as the scalpel bit into her skin, shallow at first and then deeper, a neat score down the side of her cheek. Ending high, only just below her eye. 'NOTHING' She screamed in her head, realising the she was following his every move, feeling every movement of the thin knife in his hands, in her cheek. Normally she could block out at least a little of what he was doing. She didn't risk shouting out loud though, he was too close to her eye for that and she was terrified he might slip. 'NothingNothingNothing.' He was being gentle tonight, slow. She wondered what he was carving into her face, what new mark she bore. She had given up thinking about what scars she would have if she ever escaped or was rescued. She couldn't even remember why she had held such hope in the first place. It was obvious no one was coming, and she knew she would never escape as she was - she couldn't even crawl.

They had released her from her bindings once, to laugh as she writhed around on the floor. It had lost its appeal for them after a while. The Dick had complained that she wriggled too much so they had chained her back up.

She wondered for a moment why she was so distracted today - normally it took all her concentration to ignore the Knife. Today there seemed to be something else, or maybe she was just becoming less sensitive to him. Maybe she was slipping away

"ADAM!" Jesse's call started Adam out of his half-daze and he stood from his desk, righting the test-tube he had knocked over as he did so.

"What is it Jesse?" He asked as the panicked molecular sprinted into the lab. He looked tired, Adam noted. But then they all were these days. Shalimar had always been the one to provide their energy. Jesse seemed to be suffering from her loss more than the others though. He had withdrawn into himself, getting out of group activities by claiming a headache, sleeping late and eating little.

"It's Emma. Brennan's with her. It looks like she's having some kind of seizure." He explained, fighting for breath.

By the time Adam reached the mediation pool, Emma was crammed into the corner of the room, quaking from head to toe while Brennan lay unconscious nearby.

"Emma?" Jesse asked, moving quickly to the woman's side.

"Don't." She warned, voice shaking as much as her body was, holding out a hand as if to ward him off as he approached. Adam moved to Brennan's side to help him sit as he came to.

"What was that for?" Brennan demanded of Emma as soon as he was upright, hand to his forehead.

"I'm sorry. You scared me."

"So you blasted me!?" He asked, incredulous.

"Brennan." Adam chastised. "What happened Emma? Jesse said he thought you might be having a seizure." She half-laughed half-sobbed, not sure if the news she had was good or bad.

"I found Shalimar."

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Review peeps, review. I wanna know what you think. Updates may be slow if you don't! *evil grin*


	2. Chapter 2

AN: *Ducks goldie's fireball* Geez girl, watch where you're aiming those things!

The voice in her ear was suddenly close, like reality had just snapped back into place. He cackled as she started, running the blunt edge of the blade over her skin.

"You weren't listening to me, were you my pet?" He laughed again and she flinched. She had long since lost the ability to understand him, to understand any of them, but the Knife's laughter was never a good thing. "The boss was angry when we got too rough and you got broken, but you were lucky I was around to save you when he wanted you killed. The other two, they're just mindless drones like the rest of the population. They don't understand music, poetry... art." He stroked his hand through her hair, lank and greasy from lack of care and then moved his hand to trace along the edges of one of the multitude of pink fresh scars that ran along her stomach. "You were no use to him when we broke you, but still lots of fun for us." He sighed and stood up, wiping over his cleanly stitched work once more with a cloth to clean off any blood he might have missed. "Shame you're getting boring, though, isn't it. You're no fun when you're not feisty any more." He pulled her head to one side to look at the swelling that covered one eye and the side of her face. "Frankie's getting rougher with you, I doubt your head will cope with many more blows like that." He ran his hand down the swollen skin and she winced as the pressure sent needles of pain into her face. "Then you'd really be broken." He laughed and opened the door, pausing there for a moment. "Davie's coming by later, thought you should know." She stayed silent. "You don't have a clue what I'm saying do you." He sighed and closed the door behind him gently.

She was cold, the stone beneath her did little to warm her bare skin as she lay there, waiting. It wasn't long before the Dick returned, his footsteps heavy and pondering under his great weight. He slammed the door open with a mock-roar that might have made her laugh if she didn't know better. Her own laughter rarely brought good things, it had been a lesson quickly learned. She would show him what a roar was; a feral, predatory thing. 'I am coming', it speaks, 'I am here'. But she remained silent and began her mental chant. Maybe this time he would be gentle, maybe he would be slow. Then she might at least get a little pleasure from her torture. Maybe 'There is nothing'. His trousers unzipped noisily and she realised that she had neglected her chant once again. Why did her mind persist in dreaming? 'There is' The door opened again and she paused, it was not unusual for the Dick to bring others in, to watch his ministrations or to take part. Before she had decided she preferred the dark she had taken to memorising their faces as something to distract her mind. But this was different, there was shouting, banging, so many noises, none of it making any sense to her. There was a woman sobbing - that she understood. Was she to get a room-mate? Or was this her replacement? She heard the Fist's solid footsteps coming down the corridor and then the crackle of electricity - a strangely familiar noise - and everything went away.

She was warm, the feel of a soft blanket on her skin felt almost alien after so long. There was a persistent whirring noise, like machinery nearby and a voice, such a familiar voice.

"Shalimar? Can you hear me? It's Adam. We're taking you home, to Sanctuary. It's Ok, you're safe now." She pondered the paradox for a moment. How could she recognise a voice that wasn't the Dick, the Knife or the Fist? They were the only voices she knew. There were the few voices that she had heard raised in ecstasy whilst she screamed of nothing, but she doubted she would recognise them if they spoke to her as this voice had. Softly, almost with care. Maybe one of the watchers had decided he wanted her for himself, no sharing. If his hands were as soft as his voice then maybe she wouldn't mind. The world faded once more.

A voice swore beside her and she flinched. 'Nothing nothing nothing.' She began. It didn't sound like Fist's voice, but no one else swore at her and it didn't take an understanding of the words to know that this voice was raised in anger. It didn't take her long to realise that - while still bound around her ankles and wrists - she was not chained. Begging her body for co-operation she rolled sideways so that she could work her way into a corner. At least then she could garner some protection from the walls around her. She didn't expect the drop. Her whole body cried out as she landed hard on her side, pain burning through her and resisting any further attempts to move. A voice called out and she began to sob softly as hands moved to pull at her. She would be chained again, she had wasted her chance. She felt a trickle of something hot and thick run down her side - she had reopened some of the Knife's more recent incisions and they were bleeding freely once more. She was placed back on the soft bench she had woken on and was left unchained, though hands remained on her shoulders, holding her still. She wondered absently if either pair of hands belonged to the man with the soft voice. Neither of them were soft; though their touches were gentle on her skin.

Then she felt it - the cold stinging touch, the sharp pain, a swab on her opened wound. She froze. The Knife had followed her here.

"Adam, her pulse just skyrocketed." Jesse warned, checking the monitor as he kept his hand on Shalimar's shoulder to keep her from falling again.

"What ever you're doing stop it, please." Emma's breathless voice came over the comm. links, causing Adam to start. He had sent Emma to bed as soon as they had arrived back at Sanctuary, seeing the effect of the huge amounts of sedatives in her system finally taking effect as her eyes became heavy. That she was awake now must mean that she had sensed something big enough to wake her, and it could only have come from Shalimar.

"Emma, what is it?" He asked, curious as to what the empath had sensed from the feral.

"She's" Emma took in a sobbed breath. "Oh God, she's so afraid. I don't know what of, I can't get anything clear from her, but"

"All I'm doing is cleaning out a wound that she's just reopened."

"Just stop it, please. Can you leave it?"

"I have to close the wound, but I can do it without cleaning it." Adam consented.

"I'm coming down." Emma said as the comm. link went silent. Adam picked up the small tool used to close shallow flesh wounds, and ran it quickly over the bloody area, hoping that he was covering the wound properly, unable to see the damaged skin beneath the blood. It seemed to have stopped bleeding which was a good sign.

"Her stats are returning to normal." Jesse offered. "But she's shaking really badly."

"What did these creeps do to her?" Brennan demanded, struggling to keep his voice calm as he rested his hand on Shalimar's other shoulder.

"She's been gone a month, Brennan. Anything could have happened to her in that time. We didn't even try to find her..."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Once again I find that Goldstranger is my saviour in the review department. I'm fairly sure my fic isn't bad enough to deserve only one reader some more reviews, please? I don't know when the next update is going to be as it depends on whether my computer decides it can live without the lovely broadband it's become used to and go back to dial-up for a month.

"So how is she?" Emma asked as Adam emerged from the lab. He sighed and took a seat, waiting while Emma sat down beside him.

"Not good, not good at all." He began, frowning deeply. "The wounds on her wrists and ankles are deep and infected," She had meant her mental condition, but she knew Adam needed to get this all straight in his mind and so she let him talk. "And there's cuts all over her - but almost all of them look surgically clean. Most will heal nicely but a couple will leave scars. She's had a recent concussion that hasn't been treated. Everything's bruised, swollen, there's a few old broken bones, a couple of new ones."

"The man we saw" Emma wasn't sure how she wanted to phrase what she needed to ask.

"We were much to late to stop that I'm afraid. But it looks like he was clean - in the sense that there's no sign of STDs - and she's thankfully not pregnant." He paused.

"Adam, what are you holding back?" She pushed, turning in her seat so that she could face him.

"The metal pin that's visible at the back of her neck isn't a subdermal governor. I mean it's based on exactly the same principle, but"

"Adam, stop dancing around it and say what you mean."

"They crippled her and I'm not sure if I can right what they did." He replied a little more bluntly, a sharp edge to his words that made Emma flinch, he sighed as he brought his emotions back under control. "I'm sorry, I'm tired"

"Explain." She demanded.

"It's directly connected to her spinal cord, like the governors, but it's placed so that it compresses specific nerves, to restrict movement or her control over her movement. It's mechanical not electrical, there's no shocking-device or anything like that, it's just there to stop her moving about. I can try to remove it but I don't know how successful it will be. There's a possibility that after being compressed for so long the nerves might be damaged. There's a possibility I won't be able to get it out without doing more damage. This could cripple her permanently." He sighed. "And I'm not even sure she's still there." Emma looked up at him. "I can deal with her physical wounds, that bit is easy in comparison to finding her again, getting her back with us. I don't think she even knows who we are at the moment."

"That can't be done with machines. That just needs us and a whole lot of patience." Emma offered. Adam smiled at her softly.

"You know sometimes you would do anything just to see one thing. Today I just want her to open her eyes. Somehow it seems like it will all be better then. I just want to see her eyes. Maybe maybe I'll be able to see something there I can fix."

It was strangely noisy in the room around her. It felt odd being in such an exposed space with people and unrestrained. The others had so rarely been in the room with her more than one at a time, and now there were four people in the room with her all at once, all talking, voices raised and quieted. But not the Knife's voice. It could not have been him, her mind assured her. It was impossible. He wasn't there in the room. But still thoughts of him haunted her.

For a while two voices faded into the background, the soft voice worried, the woman's voice consoling. She found her hearing followed them instinctually, without straining she could hear them as loud outside as she could when they were by her side. The other two remained by her side, restraining without chains. They were quiet but she could sense their tension, their anger. They would be like the Fist, she knew, if they were alone. She could feel their violence there on the surface. She was scared of these people, she realised, though they had done nothing to her yet. She had come to know the three's moods, their ways. She knew what would come next and there were few surprises. She didn't know what these people were capable of, she didn't know how to keep them happy, how to avoid their anger. She was scared.

Jesse was angry, very angry. He could see that Brennan felt the same from the tension that showed all over his face. They had taken down the two people that they had found there with her, but it had been more important to get Shalimar back to Sanctuary at the time than go out on a revenge hunt. And she needed them for now. He glanced at the delicate scars that lined her exposed arms, neck and face. If he could look at them with detachment, not seeing the creamy skin and soft features underneath that was Shalimar's beauty, he could see they formed patterns, pictures on her skin. He knew from what he had seen when they had first found her - uncovered and chained to the floor - that they ran the length of her body. They were spoiled, marred here and there by bruises and swelling - obviously the work of one of the others. He was thankful of the light pyjamas they had wrapped her in and the blanket that covered her skin, still a little cold to the touch. He wondered at her reaction to Adam trying to clean out her wounds. How could something so innocent and relatively painless, compared to the other injuries he could see, become something that scared her so badly? He looked up as Adam and Emma reappeared, both looking worried. He didn't need telling that Shalimar was in a bad way. He hadn't seen her open her eyes since they rescued her and her failed attempt to escape told them that she didn't know who they were or that she was safe now. That her escape had failed at all had told them what a bad way she was in physically. But Adam would know what to do. He always did.

Adam didn't know what to do. If he tried to remove the pin when Shalimar was still in the state of mind where everything was a threat he risked allowing her to escape if the procedure worked or causing her more damage if it didn't. But it seemed sound logic that restoring her physical health would be the first step in bringing her back to them, showing her that she could trust them. He needed to sleep, he thought, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. He wished he'd been able to sleep while Shalimar had been away. It was hard to think now, that they'd thought her dead. Taken her passing as a harsh blow and moved on past it. They had abandoned her. He sighed softly and stood quiet in the doorway. He had asked Jesse and Brennan to stay where they were - one on either side of Shalimar so that she couldn't slip from the bed again - and they stood there dutifully, both of them with faces full of anger. He looked to Emma to see how she was coping with their emotional turmoil, only to find her with a similar look on her own face, eyes hard as she watched Shalimar, still shaking on the bed. Mutant X was baying for blood, revenge was high in all of their minds. Adam sighed. He was going to have to find something to keep them occupied. Shalimar needed them all nearby right now, even if she didn't know it herself. Emma looked up at his sigh, eyes soft once more.

"What ever you decide Adam, there's going to be ups and downs. We'll just have to roll with it." Adam smiled, thanking her with a nod.

"There are several things that need doing as soon as possible. I'm going to get some rest. I want you working shifts and _sleeping_," this at Emma, "in between. Two people in here with her at all times. Talk to her. She's there somewhere, the sooner we find her the better. When my head's a bit clearer I'll be back and we'll start working towards getting her better." They all nodded, glad to be moving in any direction, having a purpose. They sorted out a simple rota for their sleep and, under Jesse and Brennan's insistence, Emma headed to bed first. Adam was glad to see a little of their anger fade as the determination set in and was smiling as he headed to his room. Shalimar was home. It was going to take an awful lot of work to get her truly back with them, but for now he was just happy to have her home.

PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ

Review?


	4. Chapter 4

G'luck in your finals Jou. And ta to reviewers. You know how much it means to me. :D

Sorry about the wait, I'm working now, so it's harder to get this out to you. Promise to update when I can.

The Soft Voice and the Woman left again and she felt the emotions of the two angry ones lift slightly. She tensed, wondering if this was when they would start. The Fist always seemed in a better mood when he appeared in her room. She waited for the first blow... But nothing happened. Hands moved from her shoulders and gentle voices spoke, though she didn't know if it was to her or to each other. Knowing that they were still nearby she lay very still, wary of them and trying to concern the environment she had been moved to. She was on a raised bed, that much she knew. It was uncomfortable, made to stretch her out and expose her body. She felt she wanted to curl up in the centre of it to try and protect herself, but she didn't think it was wide enough to take her whole body in that position without tipping her back out onto the floor. And to get into that position took so much effort, more than she could muster after her last fall. The air smelt dry and clean in her nose. She could still hear the two beside her, and if she was careful and stretched her hearing beyond them, the sounds of water running and electronics buzzing. The knife had shown her electricity once, when he was going through a phase of testing things out on her. Soft leather straps around her knees, and then again a few weeks later when she had recovered from the first set of burns. He had seemed pleased with her then, when it had made her scream but not burned her skin, and she was left alone for a while, given good food and water instead of the leftovers she had usually had to perform for. The Knife had said something, and it had meant something to her then. But it was so easy to forget these things. She pulled her mind back to the present and listened as the two sat and talked. One voice seemed softer than the other, more tempered. She listened closer to this voice as he talked to her. She listened, not knowing what he said, only knowing that he was talking to her, for her. A nagging at the back of her mind told her that she knew that voice, but it was so quiet and there were so many other worries in her mind. The other voice snapped something roughly and the two laughed, making her jump and cringe. The Sharp Voice scared her more than the other, she decided. She trusted the Other. She wondered why she found it so hard to name him though. Names meant so little to her, why was he different? For the first time in a long time she wanted to open her eyes. Just to see what he looked like, the Other. Whether his eyes matched his voice, whether she would know his face.

Jesse saw Shalimar cringe at his and Brennan's outburst of laughter and frowned, hushing Brennan.

"Hey Shal, I'm sorry. We didn't mean to make you jump like that. I didn't think you were listening with you so quiet and your eyes shut." He looked over at Brennan, still sat on that chair the other side of the medilab's bed. "I guess we'll have to keep it down a bit."

"It proves she was listening though, right? She's not completely gone to the world."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll take anything as a good sign at this point."

The Sharp Voice's breathing deepened as she listened to the Other continue talking, she heard it and knew that he was sleeping. The Knife had slept with her in the room once, when he had been hiding from someone. Explaining his troubles in words she couldn't understand and curling up in the corner, gaunt face seeming paler than usual, eyes darting and wide. The Dick had come later and taken him out. The Knife had been very studious in his work the next day, cuts a little deeper than usual, touching bone in her hands and apologising. He had cried then, as he cleaned the blood from the floor, her blood from the floor. Cried so pitifully that she would have taken him in her arms and rocked him until he was soothed. But she was bound and incapacitated so she had merely listened and hoped he understood. She had been left alone for several days after that, though she was never sure whether to be happy or sad when she was alone because alone meant no food.

Sharp voice's breathing was softer as he slept, more regular than Knife's had been. The Other paused a moment and she waited for his voice to continue. When he didn't she wondered how far she might get in her current state. She felt stronger than she had before, did she risk bringing down their anger? They hadn't done anything to hurt her so far, would they hurt her if she angered them? Would they leave her the opportunity to escape on purpose, so that they could feel vindicated in punishing her?

She found she couldn't leave the chance un-taken. She was unrestrained and one of her guards slept, the other distracted.

She rolled onto one side, more wary now of the drop. Gritting her teeth as she prepared herself for the jarring landing she pushed her self that little further, felt the edge of the bed and then she landed in a prepared pair of arms.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey, where do you think you're going." Jesse murmured, slowly lowering Shalimar to the ground from where he had caught her, just over the edge of the bed. Gathering her into a more comfortable position he lifted her again. He had nearly dropped her at the shock of how light she was. He had seen that she was skinny, but actually holding her in his arms she weighed nothing at all.

"Hey Brennan." He called across to his sleeping teammate. "Bren." He called again when the tall man didn't move. Jumping, Brennan wiped at sleepy eyes, standing quickly as he saw Shalimar in Jesse's arms.

"What happened?" He asked, trying to hide a yawn.

"She tried to get off the bed again. Do you think you could grab the mattress off her bed? We can set her up on the floor so there's no drop to worry about and it'll be more comfortable than this thing." He gestured at the medical bed around the still form in his arms, keeping his voice soft as he explained his plan. "Plus it might smell familiar."

"Yeah, sure. You OK holding her until I get back?" Jesse looked down on Shalimar, smiling softly.

"Of course, it's not like she's a huge weight at the moment. Maybe call Emma to replace you once we're done. You need to sleep, man." Brennan nodded his consent, heading out of the room to retrieve the mattress. He appeared moments later, dwarfed by the huge thing he was dragging behind him. Laying it out on the floor he watched as Jesse lay her down on it as gently as he could and then stepped away. She started shaking almost immediately and Jesse and Brennan shared a frown. Moving back to her side Jesse watched as she flinched away from him, the shaking increasing in frequency.

"I'll grab her blanket." Brennan offered, disappearing again down the hall. Emma appeared in the doorway moments later and moved to Shalimar's side, pushing Jesse away silently. She sat quietly where Jesse had sat moments earlier and took hold of Shalimar's right hand, rubbing soft circles on the back of it - the only place she could find that was relatively unmarred by recent wounds. She began muttering soft words of encouragement, slowing her breathing and smiling as she saw Shalimar calm and relax in response.

"What did we do?" Jesse asked, his voice soft and full of worry. 

"She thought you and Brennan were going to rape her." Emma replied quietly. Jesse sank into the chair.

"Oh God." He looked devastated, Emma observed, shifting so that she could sit comfortably at Shalimar's side and still see him. "I didn't even think"

"You couldn't have, Jesse. She just doesn't seem to see that she's better off here than she was there. She can't see that we mean her no harm. She doesn't know anything but the life those men put her through. Nothing else makes any sense to her. We have to show her" Emma sighed and looked around her. "It was a good idea though. Do you think we could clear that corner and push the mattress into it? It might feel a little more protected." Jesse looked at the pile of Adam's equipment that had been stacked in one corner.

"Sure." He said, moving to begin shifting the equipment out of the corner. He saw Shalimar flinch again as he put a box down less-than-lightly and flinched himself. "Brennan will be back in a moment. He can help us push the mattress. It probably weighs more than she does now, but it'll be gentler that way." Emma simply nodded, her eyes fixed on Shalimar. Brennan appeared, his arms full of blanket and draped it over the medical bed as he saw what they had planned. They moved the mattress together and Shalimar was immediately pushed up into the corner of the room, back against the two walls. Taking the blanket from Brennan and smiling at the leopard print cover, so very characteristic of Shalimar's humour and taste, Emma wrapped it as far around the shaking feral as she could reach, hoping that it would offer her the comfort again that it had once given her. She nodded her thanks to Brennan and he took it as his cue to leave, stopping in the doorway for one last glance back. He seemed to think about saying something, but changed his mind. With a sigh he turned and left the room and the feral in peace.

The Other was sad, she could sense his distress, but she couldn't find a cause. It had begun when the Woman had come into the room. But her voice had held nothing but her own sadness, quieter than his, but still present. She felt safer with the Woman nearby. She had made the Sharp Voice leave, and she sat close, her own bruised and scarred hand concealed within hers. The simple contact was reassuring and she was warm within the cocoon that the soft blanket formed around her. She found herself slipping into the fitful dose that hand been her only form of rest for the last month.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam stopped short in the doorway to the lab. He was feeling better even after only a few hours of sleep. Everything was feeling a little more solid, the haze of bone-weariness fading as the world reformed. He found all the inhabitants of the lab asleep as he entered, Jesse leant uncomfortably back in the chair, Emma curled into a ball beside the mattress - Shalimar's hand still tight in hers - and Brennan, returned after a short sleep, laid out at the end of the mattress. Shalimar had shifted during the night, now tight against the two walls at her back, only the arm whose hand was held tight in Emma's extending out from her body, all other limbs tucked tightly into herself. He thought about the kind of effort that must have taken with the pin still tight in her neck, restricting all attempts at movement. How frustrating it must have been for her, subjected to who knows what horrors with no chance to lash out except in her own mind. Shalimar stirred as he took another step into the room. She didn't open her eyes - his moment of hope was quenched - but she was somehow visibly awake and completely aware.

"Good morning." He murmured, moving to the console - stepping carefully over Brennan - to reopen the scans from the previous night. They didn't look any more encouraging in the fresh light of the new day.

"Well then, lets have a look at this." Going over the scans little by little he outlined the small things that he could do, muttering as much to himself as to the feral as he did so.

The small flesh wounds which he could speed up the healing of, the concussion which might need a few scans to ensure no long-term damage. The more thorough scans would need her conscious, those might have to wait... A broken wrist - from the manacles with which they had chained her to the floor no doubt - that might require plaster to make sure it set straight. Her left unfortunately, as she was left handed. Her desperate thinness, and obvious malnutrition. When he was sure he had covered everything he could find that he could do something about he turned his attentions to the device. He had taken a few rough scans for the computer to process the previous night, but they weren't really enough to work with. He looked over at Shalimar on the new bed that had been set up for her. It was a sensible idea, and safer too, but it did mean he couldn't scan her until everyone else was awake. She was effectively surrounded, with Jesse guarding the door, Emma at her only exposed side and Brennan at her feet. Adam wondered if the protective formation was intentional. He could still see the tension in her, the only thing alerting him that she was awake.

Resigning himself to the scans he had, Adam took a seat and began to think.

She had woken at the Soft Voice's footsteps. Momentarily disoriented she had remembered a time when such things hadn't been unusual - waking amongst slumbering friends. She could hear the sleep-filled breathing of all three of those around her and she realised that she had to have slept through the Sharp Voice's return. Thoughts and memories of old dreams were swept to one side in momentary panic at this. How could she have slept through his entrance? She had slept through much after the Fist had hit her, but that was days ago now, maybe weeks. Her mind was hazed and the worry faded a little as she realised that still she was unbound and warm, protected. Her brief slumber had left her feeling more tired than she had before as her body gave into its fatigue, adrenaline and fear no longer enough to sustain her. She followed the Soft Voice's progress around the room and heard him take a seat. Satisfied that he didn't seem to pose her any immediate threat she allowed the soft warmth to overtake her once more and slipped back into oblivion.

Brennan awoke slowly, taking a moment to remember his move back into the lab when he found himself unable to sleep with the knowledge that Shalimar was so close and yet still not with them. After an hour of unprofitable rest he had returned to the lab to find Emma asleep and Jesse watching over the two of them with a smile on his face. Taking a seat at the foot of the mattress he had taken Jesse's post in watching over them, acknowledging Jesse's own tiredness and allowing him rest. He hadn't intended to fall asleep himself.

Sitting up slowly he glanced around at the shuffle of papers and found Adam close by. He offered a silent smile in acknowledgement and continued sorting through the file he had just retrieved from the drawer. Standing as quietly as he could Brennan headed out into the kitchen for breakfast.

Jesse woke moments later to the smell of coffee brewing and, with Adam's nod of consent stretched and headed out of the small room himself. Adam paused a moment in his research and looked back down on Shalimar and Emma where they lay. The psionic had been loaded with sedatives over the last few weeks as the dreams that haunted her became worse and worse, making her almost physically ill in the waking world. But now it seemed she might have been right, that Shalimar had indeed been contacting her, connecting with her. Or at the very least her subconscious mind was reaching out to her in sleep and finding her. At least with Shalimar nearby and sleeping too she would have time to succumb to the drug's affects and for a time at least sleep with only her self for company.

Brennan reappeared in the doorway with a steaming mug and placed it down beside Adam.

"Thought you might need this." He smiled softly.

"Do you think you could carry Emma through to her own room? She can't be comfortable sleeping like that and I think she's going to be down for a while."

"Of course." He replied, quickly moving to do that, separating their two hands gently, trying not to wake either of them, and lifting the red head effortlessly to carry her out to her room.

Alone again in the quiet of the lab, Adam wondered if the soundness of Shalimar's sleep was anything to do with knowing - even subconsciously - that she was home and safe. The tension that they had seen in her since she had arrived back was stilled in sleep, the bruises and scars on her face not so noticeable with the blanket pulled up close around her, placing her in shadow. If he looked without thinking it was possible to imagine that she had never left, that they had never thought her dead. Never abandoned her to the hands of those men.

But then the eyes saw the position she took, shaping her body to the smallest it could be in the corner of the room. One arm a lifeline that had fed back to Emma. Everything else pulled in tight and defensive.

No. Not Shalimar at all.


	7. Chapter 7

She woke slowly, gritting her teeth to hold back a moan. She ached with the accumulation of small pains and larger ones all competing for her attention. All over, from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her toes. It wasn't an uncommon feeling, it was one that had accompanied her for a long time, but today it seemed somehow worse, against the softness of the quilt on her skin, the give of the mattress beneath her. Pain in comfort. An offer of something better and the threat of something worse. Because comfort was only ever there to be taken away and the pain lived on and on.

The hand was gone from hers as had the soft breathing of those who had surrounded her in sleep. The Soft Voice still sat where he had been when she had returned to rest though now the shuffle of papers had joined his own noises. He stood and she tensed a little as he stepped towards her.

"Good afternoon. I hope you enjoyed your rest. We have a lot to do today."

She woke slowly, again. The pain was absent, her mind filled with the lightness of care that drugs brought. Footsteps sounded nearby and the small amount of adrenaline pushed some of the fog to one side. She was back on the raised chair, something sharp moved in her arm as she shifted, her left wrist felt heavy and tight. The footsteps paused behind her and she flinched, pulling herself into a ball and hoping that she could be hidden behind the chair she was stretched out on. There was a sigh from behind her and the footsteps moved up to her side. Knowing that there was no hope of not being seen now, she cringed back, not sure what to expect. The man stood at her side for a moment, still, observing and then there were a few moments of activity. He didn't seem to touch her but she was suddenly filled with a leaden tiredness, weighing her down and dragging at her mind. She returned to oblivion.

Jesse watched from the doorway as Adam brushed a lock of hair from Shalimar's relaxed face. She had returned to her foetal position in the middle of the medilab bed and Jesse realised that she must have woken up and Adam had just sedated her again. Backed up by the faint creamy swirl of sedative in the clear sugary solution that Adam had been feeding her intravenously to combat the malnutrition that was obvious on her thin form. He stepped up beside their mentor, enjoying being able to be close to the feral - absent for so long - without risking scaring her.

"How's Emma?" Adam asked, knowing that the molecular had been checking on her.

"She's still sound asleep. That's almost forty hours straight now Adam, do you think she's OK?"

"She's fine, she's finally allowing her body to metabolise the sedatives. It will take her a few days to sleep them off completely. It's been a big strain on her, what ever she was doing to reach Shalimar." Their attention turned back to the feral beside them.

"How long will it be before you know if the operation went right?" Jesse asked quietly.

"The pin's out now, and it came out all in one piece and cleanly All I can do is hope. We won't know until she sits up and walks out of here. In any other case at this point she would start on a course of physiotherapy, but I really can't see any realistic way of doing that. We'll just have to see what happens." Adam sighed and looked back down at the blond, curled up on the bed. "Help me straighten her out, I'll do one more scan and she can go back onto the mattress. It'll be more comfortable for when she wakes up again."


	8. Chapter 8

__

Happy new year everyone! Now I need everyone's opinions. Either I give you longer chapters and make you wait longer in between, or you live with two page chapters at fairly regular intervals. Yell your decisions and I'll act accordingly.

:D Ta for the reviews, guys.

For three days Shalimar flitted between consciousness and the void, her waking moments filled with a wary fear, though her new captors had still made no move towards aggression. In consciousness she was only vaguely aware of the changes in her body, as natural movements - previously made impossible by the device - returned to her without thought. On the third day, though, as Adam - asleep in his lab chair - neglected the sedative he had been administering regularly, Shalimar truly awoke for the first time in days.

She didn't want to wake. The blankets surrounded her like a warm cocoon and she felt more comfortable than she had for a long time. It took her several minutes to notice the lack of restraint in her limbs; only when she rolled over, seeking the comfort of sleep that was quickly leaving her behind, did she realise her new freedom. Escape lingered at the corner of her senses and she was suddenly alert. Pushing upwards on wobbly arms she moved up against the wall, letting it take her weight as she moved one hand to the back of her neck.

It was gone! The pin that had held her without movement under the Knife or the Fist or the Dick's hands was gone, a tight patch of scar tissue in its place, already beginning to heal. Gathering all her willpower she coaxed her body upright. Begging her legs to take the weight, holding her self on the walls beside her, she fought an internal battle for a moment. To open her eyes and aid the coming escape or to leave them closed against possible failure. Undecided, she moved for where she knew the doorway was, a cold draught and distant noises guiding her. She stumbled as the doorway appeared beneath her hand, taking away the support the wall had offered, and she fell into the hallway. Air was squeezed out of her lungs, and she winced in pain and fear as her left hand, concealed as it was in its cast, made a hollow noise as it hit the ground and jarred her injury. She lay completely still for a moment, listening for the slightest movement or word to tell her that her attempted escape had been noticed. When there was nothing, she began on her way once more.

Jesse froze in the hallway, unsure whether or not to believe his eyes. He hadn't thought Adam had meant it literally when he said she would sit up and walk out of the lab. Shalimar was sat in the hallway a few yards from the entrance to the medilab, her back up against the wall. He stepped back into the adjoining corridor as she scrubbed at her eyes, just looking around the corner so that he could pull back out of sight at a moment's notice. The bulky plaster cast on her left wrist was getting in her way as she tried to clear her eyes and she lowered her hands again so that she could feel along it with the other hand. Taking tight hold of the cast at the base of her wrist she tugged it upwards. Jesse winced in sympathy as she let out a mewl of pain. She lowered her left hand gently to the floor and spent a moment breathing deeply to calm the pain. Then she began rubbing both eyes with her right hand. Seeming to finally get them clear she squinted into the bright lights of the corridor, Jesse took another step back, trying to stay unnoticed as she slowly started to examine her surroundings, blinking rapidly as her eyes, too long unused, adjusted to their returned use. Seemingly satisfied, she turned back to the white bulk on her wrist. She winced slightly as she lifted it, searching it for a catch or weakness that she could use to remove it, scratching at the white material in vain. Giving in, she rose slowly, taking all of her support on the wall beside her. Jesse could see that her left side didn't seem to want to follow her body's instructions and she staggered a little as she regained the vertical, trying to keep her balance. Every step was more hop as she held her balance precariously on her right hand, her left side still refusing to keep up. Jesse cringed to see Shalimar, previously so strong and graceful, making her way so painfully along the corridor away from him. Realising that if he headed down the opposite corridor he could head her off without difficulty if she continued at her current pace, Jesse sneaked behind her as quietly as he could.

The light hurt her eyes with its persistent glare, but the decision had been made. It had been necessary to forfeit the safety of the soft and caring darkness for the ability to find somewhere to hide or some way out, though she didn't know where she would go if she could escape. Her wrist was a solid ache and her head throbbed at the invasive light joined with the extra effort of being upright - something she hadn't been for over a month.

She froze as there was a soft noise behind her. Heart racing, she turned fearfully. The corridor was empty behind her, but footsteps sounded, moving away from her.

Jesse reached the end of the corridor that joined the one Shalimar had been making her slow way down. Carefully looking around the corner Jesse scowled as he found he couldn't see Shalimar any more. She had to have gone into one of the rooms along the corridor between the lab and here. Preparing to go searching through the rooms one by one, Jesse stopped as there was a scuffle behind him. Turning slowly he found Shalimar desperately trying to right herself again from hands and knees where she'd fallen, taken off balance when he had stopped unexpectedly in front of her. She yelped as she put her weight on her broken wrist. Jesse moved to help but stopped abruptly with tears in his eyes as she fell over herself trying to get out of reach as he advanced. Not knowing what he could possibly do to help and not make matters worse, Jesse backed away slowly and, as soon as he was sure he was out of sight, hurried for the lab, biting his lip to keep his emotions in check.


	9. Chapter 9

She dragged herself to her feet, knowing that the Other wouldn't take long to return, perhaps with another pin to replace the one removed. It had been stupid to follow the Other in the first place. She could have escaped him when he had walked away. But something had held her, some curiosity.

She had to find somewhere to hide before her new-found freedom was taken from her again. The empty and still corridors offered no hint of a possible hiding place but still she fled, dragging her argumentative body along behind her. Somehow she knew where she was going. Some instinct led her.

A doorway in front of her. Her hiding place was through there, her instincts told her. She struggled for a moment with her injured hand on the door handle before collecting herself, taking a deep breath and changing hands. The door swung open silently and she slipped inside.

The room behind the door was hidden in shadows at first, but without thought a yellow glow lit the area, an ability almost forgotten in the darkness of the place behind her eyelids where even feral vision was of no use. Revealed in the reflection of light barely shed was a bedroom, a familiar place that spoke to her of times spent in soft spoken company, of reassurances and the kindness of a loved one. A place to hide when solitude was needed. Too tired to wonder where these memories came from or who it could possibly be that she would trust so much, she dropped into the soft bed, wrestling with the sheets until she was mostly covered and drifting into a quiet sleep.

"I didn't mean it literally when I said she would sit up and walk out of the lab." Adam laughed. "She can't have gone far anyway, and Sanctuary's locked down so she can't get outside." Adam looked at the panic in Jesse's eyes as they searched the seemingly endless hallways. "Don't worry Jesse. This is great, it means she's going to be OK. She's recovered almost all motor functions with hardly any work at all."

"But _why_ doesn't she _recognise_ us Adam!? I thought that when she opened her eyes, when she saw us she'd remember She still thought I was going to hurt her. She was running away from me."

"Jesse, she's been tortured to the point of breaking. And a maybe weeks more on top of that. Her mind has been forced to retreat away to protect herself. She won't recognise us, or know she's safe until she starts to come back out of that. It's going to take time."

"What if" Jesse's voice wavered. "What if we never get her back?" Adam sighed softly.

"Then we take this scared and abused feral and make her see that not all mankind is like those men were. We teach her what humanity is, and we teach her what she needs to know to live. She's survived Jesse. That's the first step. Even if she is no longer Shalimar as we knew her, she still needs us to help her come back out of herself. It just means we have to start again, from the beginning."

The corridor was empty, Jesse knew it would be even before he stepped into it. It was hopeless. There was no way Shalimar was going to stay out in the open as scared as she was. She was going to find a hiding place. Somewhere she felt safe. But there were so many rooms around Sanctuary. Dozens they had never even seen.

He thought for a moment about the places Shalimar might hide when she was scared. But he just couldn't process the thought. He knew of nowhere Shalimar would hide because she had never, in his memory of knowing her, _been_ scared. She had places she would go to brood or sulk. But if she was ever feeling down or unsettled, the place she could be found was with the rest of Mutant X. Making sure she had them all in sight, worrying if anyone was gone for more than a moment.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft cry from the room he had just passed. Backtracking quickly to the door at the end of the corridor he pressed his ear against the door. He could hear a sob, and then another. Restraining himself from breaking down the door he took a step back and looked at where he was. He was stood outside Adam's room, he realised. Adam valued his privacy over most other things, he would be annoyed if he knew that Jesse had been in his room. He hesitated. Adam was on the other side of Sanctuary. What if Shalimar was hurt, if she'd fallen if someone had gotten in there with her the thought was dismissed. No one could break through Sanctuary's security net.

Shalimar cried out again from in the room and all thoughts of Adam's privacy were forgotten as he dived through the door. It was dark inside the room, but the lights from the corridor worked their way into the shadows. Guiding his way to the bed where Shalimar lay, entangled with the sheets and fighting with them as they restrained her movement. Jesse took hold of the sheet gently and started untangling it as she continued to fight, oblivious to his presence in her sleeping state.

She was bound. Bound again and on her back on the ground. She kept her eyes firmly shut, not wanting to see the evidence of her recapture, but still the images flowed to her. The Knife was there, and the Fist. And the Other was somewhere in the background. His voice reached her and his eyes were full of anger. She held his eyes as the Knife plied his attention on her wrist, cutting deep as she tried to move away. Somehow holding his eyes she felt a little saner. Like the world might soon end and this would be nothing. There would be nothing. Just the calm comfort of peace.

And suddenly she was cold and the Other was whispering close to her ear. Meaningless comforts as the Knife continued his assault and the warmth, a comfort she knew would be limited, was taken from her again. Slowly one by one, the comforts removed. Because it never lasted. Only the pain would go on.

Jesse watched as the tension slowly drained from Shalimar's face once more, not sure if his whispered words had helped or if the nightmare had simply faded away and left her to sleep once more. He knew he wasn't going to be able to move her back to the lab without waking her, but he hesitated in going for help. Help would mean activity, noise, a break in the peace that surrounded them as Shalimar lay sleeping. He sat silent by the side of the bed, breathing in the peace for a moment. And then the tears started to fall.

Adam stood silent in the doorway once more as his two eldest - if not in years then in time spent at his side - slept side by side. Tears were still visible in Jesse's eyes as he slept and Adam sighed at the impact of this latest catastrophe on his family. So many trials they had lived through, so many fights. He couldn't let himself believe that this would be the one to break them. Emma was turning into a ghost, eyes fixed to the ground, her only words whispered, her face always pale and wan. Brennan was fuming as he marched the corridors. Adam had crossed his path only once and had been cursed for not paying enough attention. For being asleep when she woke. The were all angry in themselves, for loosing her, for believing her gone.

He glanced down at the head scans in his hand, taken while Shalimar had squirmed in the temporary restraints and left with the computer as they slept.

How could he tell them that this could only get worse? There was going to be no realisation from Shalimar. No shock of recognition and instant recovery.

She didn't know who they were.

She couldn't know who they were.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you talking about?" Brennan insisted. Emma flinched at his tone, but her stare was just as insistent. Jesse sat on Brennan's other side, his gaze aimed at the floor. He understood.

"When she was originally captured she was hit over the head and she fell. You couldn't find a way down to her to help her. You were being shot at, Emma _was_ shot. The remote scanning system was saying she was dead, you left to save yourselves. When you came back..."

"She wasn't there, we know this Adam. We were there." There were tears in Emma's eyes, a bitter tone to her voice.

"If she hadn't been feral that blow _would_ have killed her. As it was, it did some damage."

"Brain damage." It wasn't a question from Jesse. Just a confirmation.

"Yes. I think they took her in and tried to heal her thinking to get something out of it. Information perhaps, about new mutants, about Sanctuary I don't know. When they realised that she wasn't coherent they turned her over to the men we found her with."

"She doesn't remember us she doesn't remember anything before them." Emma's eyes were vacant as she spoke and Adam made a mental note to talk to her alone later.

"Isn't there anything you can do to heal her?" Brennan pushed. "To get her memory back?"

"Her body has already done a lot of healing itself. It won't be able to return everything that was lost, but it has healed the damage as best it can. It's possible she will be able to remember some things over others. Maybe in time she will be able to remember everything and she will be herself again. I'm just warning you of the possibility that she might not know us, might not be able to remember who we are. The abuse will have made some things worse. I'm not completely sure that some of this damage wasn't caused by the blow to the side of her face which is more recent."

"How much more recent?" Brennan pressed.

"Maybe a week ago, maybe less."

"She spent the first three weeks waiting for us to rescue her." Emma voiced one of Adam's own suspicions, closing her eyes and laying her head on the back of the chair as though staring at the ceiling. "The first three weeks knowing"

"I don't know Emma. I really don't." Adam's tone was apologetic. Brennan stood up so suddenly the chair he had been sitting on flew out behind him.

"I'm going to kill those bastards. I should have done it in the first place." He spat, anger consuming everything for a moment. The need for action driving him.

"Brennan you can't go in alone." Jesse spoke, quietly. Adam looked over at him, thankful. "I'm coming with you." He added. Adam stood, anger finally shining through in his own eyes.

"No. You're both staying here. With Shalimar. She needs you here right now, as close as you can be. Believe me, I want to be out there too, I want to make sure they can never, ever hurt her again." Brennan and Jesse looked startled at the venom in Adam's voice. "But right now we all need to be here, because there is a feral upstairs who really needs our help, whether or not she is still the woman we lost a month ago."

"You know that doesn't matter to us Adam." Jesse placated Adam.

"Just because she doesn't remember who she is doesn't make her a different person." Brennan agreed.

"We just have to teach her who she was." The soft smile on Emma's lips lifted Adam's spirits a little. Adam sat back in his chair, relaxing a little. That had been a close one, and Brennan's bravado - a front put on, he suspected, to hide his fear for Shalimar - was getting on his nerves.

He took a moment to look around the room, taking in the body language of the people who sat and stood in it. Emma was huddled into the armchair that she had claimed as her own, knees pulled tight to her chest, face almost hidden. Brennan stood, posture still confrontational - his body hadn't finished the fight, even if he had - arms crossed protectively across his chest. Jesse had one knee tucked up on the chair he sat on, arms balanced on top of it, his other hand gripping the opposite wrist. All protective, submissive gestures. He knew that if he were to reach out and try and touch any one of them right now they would all flinch and shake off his hand, the contact rejected. With that thought, an idea blossomed.

"I have a plan."

"Jesse, you take first watch, Brennan on the door. Emma, I just want to talk to you a moment." Adam watched as the two young men headed back towards his room to begin to put his plan into action. When they were out of earshot he turned back to Emma. After a moment he took a seat beside her.

"Are you sleeping better?" He asked, unsure of what he wanted to say, what he wanted her to say. Looking in an answer for a question he had yet to find.

"I'm sleeping." There was a smile, but her eyes were empty.

"Dreams?"

"Just the normal ones, nothing from Shal."

"I'm sorry we didn't believe you."

"I know you are Adam. But there wasn't anything we could have done any different, I didn't know where she was." No, that wasn't it. Then what was bothering her?

"How are you feeling? In yourself." She looked up, taking a moment to think.

"I'm worried about her. Not knowing us is going to make things harder." He wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been looking for it. The swallow back of emotion. Here it was. This was the problem.

"It wasn't your fault." She looked up at him once more, eyes wide.

"Yes. It was." She countered, no doubt in her mind. "If it hadn't been for me we would have been there for her, able to get her out of there. We could have brought her home."

"We don't know that would have made it any different. Maybe all that damage was done in the first blow, or in the fall?"

"She's been _tortured_ Adam. That _will_ make a difference. Everything we do scares her. She just doesn't understand. She can't understand us not hurting her. It's making her more scared that we keep offering her kindness. She's waiting for us to punish her for the things _we've_ done. How can we reach her through that?"

"You can't dodge bullets Emma. There was nothing that we could have done any different." She looked away again. "I haven't done a scan on you since Shalimar got back, how is your shoulder?" Adam asked briskly, changing the subject gently.

"A little stiff, but OK." Standing, Adam moved in front of her, holding out his hand as if offering a dance.

"Reach out to me." He ordered. She sighed and rolled her eyes. Lifting her left arm to the height of her shoulder and keeping her elbow straight, she took his hand. Slowly he moved her arm around to the left. She bit her lip as he reached 45 degrees, but said nothing. Watching her face, Adam pushed a little further. Her hand was trembling now, and she cried out as Adam reached parallel with her back, pulling her arm away from him and protectively into her chest. Frowning, Adam stepped back. "Has it been that bad for long?" He asked.

"It was worse after my big sleep."

"Come to the lab. Let's see what we can see."


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks again for the reviews peeps, it means more than I can say.

Goldie; she was shot, darlin', explanation coming soon.

Redwolf; give up torturing them? Never. :P This chapter is for you. Some Shalimar/Jesse 'action' ; )

Wakefulness came slowly, along with the realisation that she was not alone. Half remembered dreams filtered slowly back to her and she fought an internal battle as she decided whether or not to risk opening her eyes again. When she realised that she was not bound and still in the warmth of a bed she made her decision.

The room was dark, as it had been when she had fallen into the bed. This was reassuring, as the darkness when the eyes were shut. It hid all sorts of horrors, and somehow everything was more controllable in the dark. It was hers.

As before the yellow brightness swept across her vision without thought, lighting her way. A bright outline was the doorway, the corridor lit outside. A small red dot blinked quietly at her from one corner and the rest of the room was outlined in soft greys and deep blacks. A series of sharp shapes around her, though no sign of the person with whom she knew she was sharing the room.

There was no anger in the breathing that she could hear. No constrained violence or physical threat, yet somehow just the knowledge that there was someone there - as yet unidentified and unlocated was just as scary as any angry face.

There was a gentle hand on her shoulder as she went to rise. A quiet voice hissed 'shhh'. Uncertain how to react to the gesture, she held still, frozen in place, eyes wide.

"It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you." The Other's voice was loud in the silence and it made her jump. She didn't move away from his touch, wary of his response. The Dick had never liked her pulling away; it had made him take pages from the Fist's book.

Slowly the hand pressed her lightly back down onto the mattress. The Other sat up from where he had been hidden beside the bed, hand still light on her shoulder. The light from the door cast his face in shadow, making him seem even more imposing as he shifted closer. He took a seat on the side of the bed, and she felt it bow a little under his weight. Her breathing sped up a little more and deep inside her, something that she had held hidden and suppressed as the pin held her body's movements and the madness seemed to take her, awoke once more.

Jesse felt Shalimar stiffen under his hand, but stayed where he was, his hand light on her shoulder, balanced on the edge of the bed. He wanted to take Shalimar in his arms and hug her tight until she understood that he meant her no harm, but that would be too fast he knew, and she would not understand the gesture. When Shalimar made no further attempt to push him away or to shy away from his touch, he began to rub circles on her arm, hesitating as he met bumped and mottled scars, but continuing when she made no noise of pain and did not pull away.

She seemed to still under his touch, the tenseness seeping from her. Jesse felt himself relax in turn. Adam had been right. The contact without threat had been enough to show Shalimar - at the very least - that not every touch by another human being was one of pain or anger. And Adam had thought it would take so much longer than this, he chuckled to himself. He would be so surprised when he told him

Thinking as he was, of the future instead of the present, Jesse didn't see the change in the colour of Shalimar's eyes, as the feral glow crept over them once more - not in answer to the darkness, but in answer to her own call. Nor did he notice her movements as she moved almost too fast to be seen. The very last thing he saw, before darkness enveloped him, was Adam's ceiling and the pretty lampshade he had over his light. Then he went to a place where he could dream of better times.

Mwahaha. Only a shortie, I know, but work is being thrown at me from every direction. The next is longer, promise. If I survive that long.

*Runs to hide from Redwolf*


	12. Chapter 12

I'd like to see the gravity where you come from Goldie. He's on the _floor_, **looking** at the ceiling. And Redwolf, I was thinking more of the main light, because he's laying on the floor looking up oh dear, I didn't write that very well at all did I. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Merci à Shadowfox pour son aide avec ce chapitre. ;) Sans vous, cet aurait été plus difficile! Merci pour écouter.

Brennan's turn!

Brennan stood silent outside the door of Adam's room, thinking of the dreadful day long past.

'Fell' Adam had said, though that was no word to describe the events of those few seconds while the rest of Mutant X had felt their own hearts plunge.

They had been fighting their way through a seemingly infinite number of goons which had appeared, trying to get through to the helix which had been left on the roof in preparation for a quick getaway. It took him a moment to remember why exactly they had been there - their original objective had been forgotten as soon as the enemy's reinforcements had appeared. Getting to the helix had become the only goal.

A weapon, it came to him. They had been working on some kind of weapon, selling its prototypes to the powerful and rich men all over the world. They had sneaked in and blown up the computers and destroyed the labs. Most of the technicians and engineers had seemed strangely grateful for the destruction of their place of work and a chance to give themselves over to the authorities - almost as if the threat of prison were better than what they were already facing.

The guards on the other hand had been less ready to give themselves up. And they were undoubtedly the superior force, despite the mutant's 'advantages'. When they reached the roof, thinking themselves home free, another wave of guards had appeared from the opposite exit. They had flooded outwards, blocking their way to the craft. It didn't take them long to show that they were, quite unashamedly, armed to the teeth.

Emma had sent out a wave of coercion, forcing the men to drop their guns, but she couldn't hold it for long enough and before long most had retrieved their weapons.

Shalimar had thrown herself into the fray the moment she had seen the guns go down and several fell in that first unpredicted and energetic attack. A few men, still unarmed, splintered off to take Shalimar on while Jesse fought to mass his was through the threat of the armed men as all three of them edged towards the helix, blots and blasts flying around his impenetrable form. Seeing an opening, Brennan had leapt for the cover of the helix, wincing as bullets hailed off the sides of the craft.

"I'm the one who's going to have to fix those, you bastards!" He had shouted. Because there was no chance that they wouldn't get out of the situation. No possibility that they wouldn't get home safe. It was an every day thing, unchanging. They fought, they won, they went home to a fairly normal life, had dinner, joked around, and went out and did the same the next day.

The scars were still there on the sides of the helix, he knew. He'd never had the energy to fix them. Too much had changed for the world to return to how it had been before.

A soft cry and a solid thump brought him back to the present.

"Hold still a moment." Adam asked, as Emma took a seat in the medical chair. Adam gently moved the shoulder of her wide necked t-shirt to one side, revealing a small puckered mark just below her collarbone. It might have been easier to use the scannner, of course, but Adam always looked first, using his own eyes and his own intuition. If the computer gave the wrong information, it was all to easy to follow it in its mistake, and this led to misdiagnosis and bad treatments. Simply looking first gave him an assurance that he wasn't missing anything.

The tiny wound, almost healed through the treatments he had already administered, seemed insignificant. The remaining scar, so small, could surely not cause such problems. It was only when he moved to the back of her shoulder, asking her to lie on her side, that the true damage could be seen. The bullet had passed unhindered through her shoulder, the exit wound far larger than its partner. The wound was red and angry, the skin around it hot to touch. Adam swore gently.

"What is it?" Emma asked, trying to look over her own shoulder.

"The wound is infected. I thought we'd avoided this, I should have kept a closer eye on it. I must have missed a shard of bone when I cleaned it out."

"I thought you said it had healed."

"The bone is well on its way to being as solid as it began, but even a tiny piece of bone from the original shot can cause an infection like this. I'll need to get it out as soon as possible, or it will weaken the new bone further." Adam frowned.

"_Adam_." Brennan's voice came across the comm. "_Get down here_." Adam and Emma shared a questioning glance as the comm. shut off without any further explanation.

"Get changed and I'll see what's going on. I'll be back to sort you out in a moment." Adam instructed, hurrying out of the lab towards his own room.

Her breaths were heavy as she held her left hand close to herself. It had been automatic to hit with her left, not thinking about the pain it might cause her, jarring the injured wrist. She didn't stop to make sure the Other would stay where he was on the floor, moving as quickly as she could drag her argumentative limbs towards the door.

Fear filled her as she realised what she had done. She had ruined everything now. All she had to do was lie still and she could have been safe. They hadn't hurt her, they had even been gentle. And now she had thrown it all away with the rising of her beast's anger. She had to escape, find some way out. She had to find somewhere to hide while they sought vengeance for what she had done to their friend. Maybe the Other would come after her himself.

She was too buried in her panic to notice the door open before she reached it, and she collided with the figure there before either of them realised the other's presence. Together they rolled out into the corridor, he fighting only for control as she scratched and struggled, she only trying to escape. Brennan saw a fist flying towards him and, knowing that Shalimar was more than capable of knocking his head off if she willed it enough, he reacted.

Adam couldn't call out in time as he watched Brennan form a small spark on his fingertips and discharge it into Shalimar, causing her to jump back into the wall, yelping with pain.

"Brennan stop!" Adam finally managed, cursing his slowness. Shalimar's eyes shot away from Brennan's hands, wide and dilated, panic oozing from every gesture as she seemed ready to jump in every direction at once to escape. Her eyes met Adam's face only for a second before returning to the more immediate threat, though when Brennan made no further move her eyes flickered back to him. Shuffling warily - almost backwards with her unwillingness to take her eyes from Brennan for long - Shalimar pulled herself behind Adam, taking refuge behind one of his legs as though she could be hidden there. In her current state of emaciation it was almost possible. Brennan was frozen in place, realising his mistake, eyes full of regret as he watched Shalimar back away from him.

Adam looked down on her, twisting to see behind himself so that she wouldn't have to move. She looked up at him, eyes full of silent pleading. It took him only a moment to realise what it was she was asking him to do.

Protection. She was asking him for protection from Brennan. It was the work of several more seconds to realise why, because he was by no means Brennan's superior physically. Then it struck him. He had told Brennan to stop - and he had. He had told Brennan to stop with anger, and now Brennan cringed away, filled with guilt, though to her it might look like fear.

It occurred to him then that she did not see them as any other person might, as friends or family, or even as colleagues, but as a pack, as other ferals with the instincts that she had been born with, and lived with all her life. And of course, what else would she think? This woman would not remember living through years of being told she was different, of being outcast for her abilities. To her they all looked alike, and so must all be as she was. This was what she knew, reduced to the most primal knowledge.

Adam sighed, looking over at Brennan. Stepping forward and crouching at his side, he held up a hand to bid Brennan stay where he was. He heard a scuffle but did not turn as Shalimar stuck to his shadow.

"Brennan, I'm going to let Shalimar hit you. And it's very possible she might hurt you." He held up a hand as Brennan began to object. "But she will only do it once, I'll make sure of that. You have to understand, if she sees you as a threat she is never going to trust you. She will always be scared of you. I've given her my protection and this way she can see that I can make sure you don't hurt her. Do you understand?" Brennan thought about this for a moment and then nodded resolutely.

"Ok."

"Don't tense up." Adam advised, standing back up and drawing Shalimar up behind him by her good hand. "And look away." Brennan found a patch of the wall to look at, fighting with his instincts to tense or turn and fight. If this was what it took to show Shalimar that he was no threat to her then he was willing to bare it. He just hoped he survived the experience.

Adam watched Shalimar's face as Brennan looked away. Even with his advice, Brennan had tensed a little, almost cringing away. He hated to think that Shalimar might hurt Brennan now, but if he left things as he was he knew Shalimar wouldn't be able to be sure that he would offer the protection she had asked for. She watched him with a fearful curiosity as he looked away, still tense herself and still trying to keep as much of Adam between them as possible, one hand wrapped in the folds of his jumper. He guided her around in front of him, a hand on her hip, not restraining, just there. She looked up at him, eyes wide.

"He's not going to hurt you." Adam assured quietly. Shalimar frowned at him for a moment, and Adam was glad to see the fear fall from her eyes, if only for a moment, to be replaced by a soft confusion. Then she settled herself back on the floor, releasing her handhold in Adam's jumper grudgingly. Eyes fixed on Brennan's face, wary of any sudden move he might make to capture her, she moved closer.

Then, very carefully, like someone checking a firework that they weren't sure was lit, she prodded Brennan's hand where it lay beside him with an outstretched finger. He looked up in surprise and she backed away a few steps.

He couldn't help but let a glimmer of humour cross his face. He held out his hand and let a ribbon of electricity skirt across it. She jumped as it first appeared, but settled again as it made no move to jump from his hand to her. The blue glow faded once more.

She was reminded of the sound of electricity close in her cold cell, and wonder appeared in her eyes. She moved closer again, looking to Adam for consent, which he gave, nodding quietly, suppressing the urge to laugh out loud at her curiosity.

This time there was less fear, and she took the hand in hers, turning it over and over as if looking for some mechanism to cause the strange effect. Brennan, relieved to see that she didn't intend to hurt him, lifted his other hand alongside and filled it with electricity at full power, careful to keep it far enough away from her not to hurt her. But she hadn't seen him lift his hand and the sudden burst of power made her jump high and disappear once more behind Adam. Adam could barely suppress his laughter as she leant around his leg, scowling at Brennan like a child at a magician who had made an egg appear from behind her ear.


	13. Chapter 13

Jesse saw Brennan move away, fighting back behind the helix and shouting out his anger at these people. He would have breathed a sigh of relief if he had been able with his lungs frozen as solid as stone. Now he only had one target to protect and the men's fire was drawn in another direction if only temporarily. But he could see that even as Brennan took shelter the gap in the lines that he had taken advantage of was closing and there was no way that Jesse was going to be able to force his way through and keep Emma safe at the same time. He winced as a ball of some emotion skimmed past him, reminding him quite pointedly that Emma was more than capable of taking care of herself. He dropped the mass for barely long enough to take in air and pulled the shield around himself again. She couldn't deflect bullets though.

Indicating to Emma that he was moving off to the side, behind the part of the building that housed the stairs onto the roof. Taking the cover, he fought to get his breath back for a moment.

"Brennan." He spoke into his comm., "We're not going to be able to get around them. I think we can draw their fire long enough for you to get the helix in the air and round to the other side of the building. Then you can pick us up from here before these guys know what's happening."

"_I'll try Jess._" Brennan replied, "_But I'm going to need all the cover you can give me if I'm going to get the helix off this roof in one piece._" He added. Jesse glanced around the corner as there was the whirring noise of the Helix being powered up. Shalimar was all but finished with the men who had originally confronted her, but was being a little more cautious as the armed men became aware of her. There were only half a dozen left standing, but it only needed one shot to kill one of the good guys and they didn't carry weapons save for their own unique skills.

"Emma, can you get them to drop the guns again? We only need a minute." Jesse asked. She nodded briefly and taking a position where she could see the men without being in the way, she shut her eyes. Six handguns hit the floor with a rattle. Shalimar dove right in and two men went flying away from their arms on the floor, two more engaged too quickly to pick up their weapons. Shalimar steered them away from where they had been standing, making sure they couldn't make use of any brief lapse in her attentions to pick up the guns again. Jesse jumped out of his hiding place and headed for the last two men. One picked up his gun faster than he could get there, but the other was still looking stunned from Emma's control. The latter hit the floor quickly and Jesse massed just in time to deflect two bullets. Spotting one of the already felled beginning to right himself, gun already in hand, Jesse span a quick kick to take in both the new man and the gun of the other one. One last kick took down the last man and Jesse turned to see how Shalimar was doing, scanning felled faces as he turned to make sure no more would rise again too quickly.

He span around as Emma cried out Shalimar's name, and he felt his heart drop out of his chest. Someone had got up behind Shalimar, gun in hand as she fought another on the edge of the building's wide expanse of roof, and hit her across the back of the head with the butt. The blow combined with her own momentum threw her forward as she reached the edge of the building, her companions already running to her aid, the man taken down by a psionic blast. The Helix circled over head and in that moment Jesse saw it as she fell, and Brennan's cry echoed across the comm. links. Jesse reached the edge first, though much too late. Shalimar was already on the floor, several floors below him. Then Brennan's voice reached him.

"Oh God. Oh God, she's dead."

"NO! She could have taken that fall! We just have to get down to her!" Jesse bit back. Even the slightest glance revealed that the Helix wouldn't fit into the tiny alleyways that made up this area of the city.

"It's the system her heart's not beating Jess" Brennan trailed off.

Jesse was about to argue further the loud retort of a handgun pulled him around, massing instinctually. But the shot was not meant for him and Emma was spun around with the power of the blow and thrown to the floor. A red flower bloomed on the front of her shirt and Jesse massed as there were further shots, standing over her carefully to shield her, holding her tightly as she gasped and squirmed in her pain.

"Brennan, we need to get out of here how can we get Shalimar out?" He asked.

"Jesse there's no where for the helix down there. The nearest place I could land is twenty minutes walk away. These guys would be waiting for us by then."

"We can't just leave her."

"Emma needs medical attention!"

"We CAN'T leave her!" Jesse cried. Brennan's voice went quiet.

"We can still save Emma."

"NO!"

As Jesse came to, the first thing his eyes focused on was Shalimar sat on the mattress in the corner of the lab, knees tucked up to her chin. His heart fluttered for a moment in the wake of the dream half-remembered. He smiled over at her and she watched him curiously, as he stretched. Sitting up Jesse had to catch himself as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Adam's hand on his shoulder guided him back to horizontal on the medical bed.

"Steady." He advised.

"What happened?" Jesse asked as the room stabilised again.

"Shalimar hit you. I'm not sure she meant to hit you so hard, but she caught you with her cast and that is a little more solid than her hand. If it's any consolation it must have hurt her as much as it hurt you. She was just trying to get away." Jesse shuddered and Adam looked down on him questioningly.

"I just remembered what I was dreaming about."

"That day?" Jesse didn't need to ask which day.

"How did you know?"

"You were talking in your sleep." Jesse sighed, looking back over at Shalimar.

"She looks better." He commenting, noticing the alleviation of the ever-present fear that he had been seeing in Shalimar's eyes and posture.

"I'm not sure if it is because I've offered her some kind of protection that she understands, or because she knocked you out and had a rough and tumble with Brennan without getting any form of reprimand for it."

"That's a bit more like the Shalimar I know." Jesse grinned over at her, but her attention was straying around the room again, as if memorising every detail. "Maybe we're finally getting somewhere." Raising one hand to his check where a welt of a bruise was forming, Jesse winced. "I'm not sure how many more of those I could take though."

AN: There's a comment here that I know is not true, but I've made it because I think it should be true (if you get what I mean.) We have seen Emma deflect bullets. But this is not a psionic ability. A bullet does not have emotions. The only way this would be possible would be if she convinced the person not to shoot it in the first place. Sometimes I despair of the scientific advisors on MX. I want to slap the one who came up with ferals with IR-vision.


	14. Chapter 14

Shalimar sat quiet in the corner of the lab, watching the movements around her. She wondered what amazing power the Soft Voice had over the others that the Other could look at her without anger after what she had done. Physically, he didn't seem intimidating enough to have such complete control - but then the knife had not been physically imposing and she had been much more scared of him than the others. She studiously avoided their eyes while they spoke, instead taking time to examine her surroundings more carefully. This had been the room she had awoken in, she knew. The raised bed was in front of her, the Other laid on it. She had watched the bright beam flicker out of the box on the roof while the other lay silent and still, and wondered what it did. She knew she had been healed while she had lain there, even recent cuts and bruises fading as though they were weeks old. Her cheek was barely tender to touch now, whereas before every movement of her face had been near agony. But whether the light healed, or that was some magic of the Soft Voice's hands, she couldn't tell.

She jumped as the Soft Voice's hand on her shoulder, as he spoke a single word. 'Shalimar', he had said it before, the first time she had heard his voice. He had made it a question then, but she had heard it again since. Much she may have forgotten, but she was not a slow learner. This she took as her name, or at least the one these people had given her. Her name in that other place had been different for each of those who visited her, and so she had named each of them. Looking up at the Soft Voice she found a hand outstretched.

She watched it curiously for a moment, glancing at its partner - she wouldn't be tricked again - and then took it with her right. A gentle tug brought her to her feet and she was led to the chair in the middle of the room.

Jesse watched Shalimar's face with curiosity as she was led across the room. He could see that she was infinitely more relaxed than she had been before, and hoped that Adam was right, that finding some kind of protection that they could offer her was enough to help her begin to understand and trust them. Sitting up again, more slowly this time, he slipped from the bed, making room for Shalimar. Keeping one hand on the bed for balance, he waited until the world reoriented itself.

"Take a seat on the mattress, Jesse. I don't want you upright for too long right now." 

She watched as the Other stood, obviously off-balance. The bruise on the side of his face was obvious - bright and discoloured skin. The Soft Voice spoke to him and he nodded, moving towards her vacated seat in the corner. Even as he made his first step she saw his eyes glaze and knew that he must be feeling as she had when the Fist had hit her. Almost as if the world itself was spinning around her head. She grabbed hold of his forearm as he staggered, eyes wide as she was torn between not wanting to be too close if he intended to take his anger at falling out on her and not wanting to let him fall. Eventually he gathered himself, and pulled his feet beneath him again. As soon as he was upright she released his arm and backed away, pulling away from Adam as he reached out for her. Moving for the door.

"God Shalimar, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" There was nothing in his eyes but regret as he spoke her name again.

No anger. Where was the anger? Where were these people hiding away the anger that she had felt in them when she had first arrived here. She looked to Adam. What magic could this man hold or was there something else someone else for them to hand their anger onto. Did they have someone locked away somewhere. Someone like her.

Adam caught hold of her shoulders as she continued backing away, and she looked up at him with eyes full of fear. He led her back to the bed, and gestured that she should sit, leaving her beside the bed. Not forcing her.

He walked over to the scanner, glad to see that Jesse had made it to the mattress, head in his hands, though whether it was from pain or from regret at seeing Shalimar's fear again, he didn't know. When he turned back to the medilab bed he found Shalimar sat there, but not laid back into the chair, just balanced on the edge. He moved back over.

"You have to lay back, I'm sorry." He said, resting one hand on her shoulder to guide her down. She let herself be laid back into the chair and stayed where she was, still and tense as Adam moved away again.

Moving to the console he activated the scanner and turned to watch as it scanned over her body. There was a beep and he turned back to the computer. He fought not to express his annoyance with a noise as he saw that - as expected - Shalimar had displaced the bone in her wrist again through its mistreatment. Even the cast hadn't been able to keep it in place. He was amazed that she didn't seem to be in any considerable pain, such an injury would have most laid out, or at the very least expressing their pain vocally. But she seemed to have too much else on her mind.

"I'm going to have to remove this cast." He told her, searching her eyes for some kind of sign that she was understanding his words. "Because you seem to be making more trouble with it on than off, and if you do any more damage to your wrist I'm going to have to pin it and you really wouldn't like that. Ok?"

Not understanding the words obviously meant for her, she heard his voice raised in question at the end of the sentence and nodded in desperate hope that this was the right answer. His eyes searched hers.

"Ok then." He moved closer to her, taking her arm in his hands. There was something sharp. "You just sleep, I'll see you later." And darkness closed around her.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Sorry this chapter took so long guys. My lecturers have just discovered the joys of 'homework' and realised that this means they can get me to do lots of work without putting in any effort themselves. *SIGH*

She woke in a softly lighted room with a face smiling over her. The smile widened as she opened her eyes and stood from where it had sat on the side of the bed. The Soft Voice was revealed in the light from a small lamp on a bedside table.

"I'll be right back, OK? You stay here." The smile radiated into his words, but it didn't soothe her as it might once have done. Instead it put her on edge and she was glad when he stepped out of the room a few moments later. She sat up when the door closed behind him and looked around her. This was a different room to the one she had found before, but the quilt that covered her was the same one that had been in place where she had woken and the scent matched as well. This room must belong to the person who owned them. But the scent did not match any of the other four. She wondered who it could be, and whether they were still here somewhere. Whether they would miss their bed.

It wasn't until she went to get out of the bed that she noticed the changed binding on her wrist. The bulky white plaster cast was gone, replaced by a fabric substitute, a plastic frame holding her wrist tightly but not obstructing or heavy like the previous one. It didn't take her long to find the Velcro straps across the side.

Pulling gently on the straps she eased the binding off. Wiggling her fingers she found her hand looser than before, not so stiff. It was only as she went to turn her hand, to look at the deep cuts across the back of it that she realised what the binding was for. Intense pain burned up her arm, making her shoulder cramp and pulling her in on herself. It was the work of several minutes for her to overcome the pain enough to unfold her body and replace the restraint on her wrist, fixing it clumsily with her right hand. Even the slight pressure that the half-fixed binding offered was enough to lessen the pain and she lay back again, breathing deeply and holding the arm away from her as if she could lessen the pain further with distance.

As the pain began to fade again, into the background of other smaller hurts, she thought again about her situation. It was obvious to her that the Soft Voice would want payment for his protection. Nothing came free, and what he had offered her would undoubtedly be expensive. Maybe that was why she had been brought in here, out of the way of the other's eyes.

As Adam stepped back into Shalimar's room he faltered in his stride. She had taken off the light pyjamas that Emma had helped her change into after aiding her in bathing off a month's worth of grime. (An experience that had left Emma pale and shaking; when he had checked on her later he had found her crying alone in her room, though she refused to talk about it.) Now she lay on the bed, posed as you might expect to find some model in a boy's magazine, though there was no relaxation and leisure in her body, she looked worried and uncertain. A shadow of fear in her eyes and tension in her shoulders betrayed the frightened child that hid behind adult's games - as though not quite understanding, not knowing what would come next.

Adam felt the anger rise in him - for the violation of his innocent child, that made her think that she needed to offer him such a thing. Realising he would not be able to hide his anger from her, or be able to make her understand why he was angry, he busied himself in his wardrobe.

Coming out baring a large sweater and an old pair of jogging bottoms near gone to holes from the back of the wardrobe, Adam steeled himself and returned to the bed, still fighting with the fuming anger.

Dressing her gently, he tugged her upright and led her to the door.

"Come with me." He spoke gruffly.

He led her out into the main hall of Sanctuary. The awe in her eyes reminded him that she hadn't seen this part of Sanctuary yet, but he continued to lead her until they stood before the dojo where Brennan and Jesse were sparing. They both stopped, startled as they saw their two onlookers.

"Carry on." Adam called out to them. He looked back at Shalimar as she watched them with curiosity. In the bright lights of the hall the most recent cut on her cheek fell into deep relief and Adam had to fight with his anger again before he could continue. "This this and _only this_ is what you will do for me. When this," He motioned to her wrist. "Is healed you will fight for me again and that is how you can repay my protection. OK? But you must get better first." He had his hands on her shoulders and could see a hint of fear in her eyes. He had taken a role as her protector - one that he had always tried to fill, even when it was unasked for - but who would she look for to protect her from him? He looked back down at her wrist as his eyes caught up with his mind. "Oh, what have you done here." His anger deflated as he saw the untidily replaced binding. Taking her arm in his hands he felt her flinch away but ignored her. Gently removing the lighter cast he held her wrist tight and still as he put it back again correctly. He heard her take a sharp breath as he tightened it, and winced himself, but soon the binding was fixed back in place. He sighed as he released her hand.

"How can I make you understand?" He appealed.


	16. Chapter 16

There was a hidden excitement in her as she watched the two men move smoothly through the movements of a fight, with no obvious intentions of hurting each other. She wondered why the Soft Voice had brought her here, into this beautiful and huge room, to see this. He vibrated with anger, though now she wasn't so sure it was aimed at her. It didn't scare her as it had before.

She was led away from the structure where the men were fighting and for a moment she considered resisting, she wanted to stay and watch these mock-fighters a little longer. Biting her lip she followed the Soft Voice as quickly as she could, still stumbling a little as her body continued to object to the rough treatment. The Soft Voice looked back once or twice as her stride faltered, but didn't stop until they reached a circle of chairs. Seeing his gesture to sit she took a chair, starting as she seemed to sink into the soft material, and bringing her knees up to her chest.

"You don't understand anything I say." There was no intonation to suggest that a reply was expected so she remained silent and still. "I thought not. It's not your hearing, I did a thorough scan yesterday. I have to wonder when you lost the ability to understand us though. Was it in the fall? Is that why they couldn't get anything useful from you? You obviously didn't betray us, and I was so stupid not to change the codes. We all thought you dead, never even thought of the possibility that they could have you, and alive. We trust to technology too much. As soon as the computer said you were lost to us we gave up hope." Adam sighed as his heartfelt apology fell on deaf ears as Shalimar looked on blankly. "Let's do this simply." Taking a seat on the coffee table that was in the middle of the circle of comfy chairs, Adam took Shalimar's hands in his. "You are Shalimar." He enunciated. "I am Adam, and you are Shalimar." He added hand gestures. "Adam, Shalimar. Can you say that? Adam? Ah dam." He sighed as she watched his efforts blankly. "You're not making this easy for me. It's so much easier in the movies." He laughed out loud at the thought, and stopped himself as he saw the reaction it prompted in Shalimar. She had pulled back, flinching as though he would hit her, eyes tight shut. "Hey, I thought we were past this." He commented. A hand on her arm brought her head back up, though there was still a hint of fear hidden in her eyes. "Laughter is really a problem isn't it." He observed. "Oh well, one thing at a time. I know you can speak to me if you want to. I heard you when we first got you back to Sanctuary. But I couldn't work out what you were saying."

A thought struck Adam and he walked quickly into the kitchen area. He returned with a hand behind his back, but saw almost immediately that it was a bad idea as Shalimar cringed away from the suspected punishment. He brought a chocolate bar out from behind his back.

"This is a bad idea," He said, gesturing with the bar. "Because I know you haven't been fed enough for a while, and rich food won't be good for you straight away. But I can't think of anything that would be a better bribe."

She looked at the offering blankly for a moment before the scent of it reached her delicate nose. The scent of the chocolate - warmed by the Soft Voice's hands - was rich and thick as it escaped the wrappings and she rolled it around on the back of her tongue as she might a solid morsel. She watched breathlessly as he took the corner of the bar in his teeth and snapped off the corner of the brittle delicacy. How often had she undergone this same routine, forced to watch as her captors ate the food that they had brought for her, the only punishment that seemed to increase in agony every time she lived it. The Soft Voice wanted something from her, she could see it, but she didn't know what. Realising that she was no longer restrained and able to move as she liked, Shalimar closed her eyes tightly and put her hands to her face, fighting to find some way of covering her nose and both ears at the same time. Giving up, she stuck her nose between her knees as though she could hold it closed like that and tried to breath shallowly. "Nothing, Nothing, Nothing." She began, trying to clear her mind of everything but her own words. She tensed against the hand on her shoulder, but looked up.

"That'll do." He praised softly. "Is that your chant? What you used to block them out? I taught you that a long time ago, finding something to say to yourself to keep you grounded. You were flighty back then, a bit like you are now. But you remembered you remembered something of your past. Or maybe not," He chided himself. "Maybe you came up with it yourself." He held out the chocolate bar. "You earned this, but we're going to have to teach you to speak if we're going to be able to help you properly."

Taking the offered chocolate apprehensively, Shalimar pulled back, crouched on the balls of her feet, an uncomfortable position on the shifting cushion of the chair. Giving up on trying to keep her balance on the shifting surface, she took a step down onto the floor, hesitating as though considering running. A tense energy filled her and Adam took a step back, not wanting to crowd the feral - now so possessive of her prize.

Glancing around her as if she expected someone to jump out of the shadows to steal it, she hugged the food close to her chest and, leaping over the chair's back, disappeared down the corridor. Adam sighed lightly.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: so so so so so sorry about how long this has taken to get out. Climbing has taken over my life completely and without remorse. I am a slave to it. :D Joy.

Jesse looked around the corner into the lounge where Adam had taken Shalimar. Adam sat there alone now, Shalimar nowhere to be seen.

"Adam? Where's Shalimar?" He questioned.

"Somewhere around Sanctuary, don't worry." He answered absently. "We need something with bacon in it for dinner."

"Bacon?" Jesse asked, bemused, looking at Adam as though he was perhaps suffering more than they had thought from fatigue.

"Yes bacon. The smell of it fills Sanctuary."

"But you hate bacon." Jesse objected.

"I'll have something else then. I need to find Emma." And he stood and hurried towards the door. Jesse stood for a moment.

"I'll fix dinner then."

Adam found Emma sat alone in her room, meditating to soft music, the lights low. He paused respectfully in the doorway though he knew she would already know he was there. She opened her eyes slowly, as though waking from a deep sleep and smiled at him.

"Hey Adam. How's Shalimar?" She greeted him.

"We had a confrontation earlier, but I think she's forgiven me. Last time I saw her she was making off with a bar of chocolate." Emma chuckled at this.

"Everything back to normal then?" She smiled.

"I'd like to think we're getting somewhere."

"How can there be any doubt?" Emma exclaimed, Adam simply looked on, sceptical. "Adam, next time you see her, just look for a moment. I wish I could let you feel what I'm feeling but you hardly need it anymore. You can see it in her. The tension is fading. She's letting us be near her without anticipating that we're there for the sole purpose of hurting her. She's beginning to think about protecting herself, not just sitting there." Adam couldn't help but smile, seeing the truth in Emma's words.

"We still have a way to go though. And the person we get back at the end of all this might not be Shalimar." Emma shook her head.

"You're thinking about this in the wrong way. This is Shalimar. This is Shalimar after something so dreadful has happened to her it has altered who she is and how she sees the world. But it's always going to be Shalimar." Adam nodded brusquely, trying to hold back tears.

"I was hoping you'd do something for me. I want Shalimar to sit at the table with us, or at the very least in the room with us while we eat. Just so she's there and listening to us talking. I haven't found a way to get her to repeat after me yet, so subjecting her to a lot of speech is the only way I can think of to begin to make her understand."

"I'm not sure what you want me to do."

"She'll come for food - I hate how much we're treating her like an animal, but if that's what works - I think we can get her up onto the platform where the little table is - it's the least enclosed" Emma nodded, accepting that it was the most sensible choice "But once she's there and she's got hold of the food she's not going to want to stick around, she demonstrated that earlier. If she's bolted the chocolate we might not have to worry, she'll be so sick she's not going to want more food anyway. But something tells me she won't. She'll hide it somewhere, store it for the time when we're not feeling so generous." Emma nodded, agreeing with his estimation. Though Shalimar was beginning to come to trust them she had a long way to go before she truly believed they wanted to help.

"I think you're underestimating the power you hold over her Adam. She will be desperate to keep you happy, to ensure your continued protection" Adam's mind returned to the events earlier in the day and he paled. If Emma noticed she didn't comment. "And now you've given her food - which I don't think she's had much access to over the last monthAdam, I remember - once I'd gotten over all my hang-ups about being labelled as different, as mutant - how utterly grateful I was to you for offering me a new life - not only in safety but in the freedom and happiness of this family. I didn't know how to pay back that debt then - and I don't now, though I know that I couldn't do it in my lifetime. This is why we help you fight your private crusade Adam. It's our way of beginning to repay you.

"Shalimar's coming across this feeling and she can't even begin to understand it. She doesn't have the reasoning behind it. She can't understand the love we have for her." Emma sighed and laughed to herself. "I think, Adam, that if you asked her to stay - in some way she understood - she wouldn't think twice about it."

She hovered in the doorway, tempted by the scents that wafted through to her. There was a warmth in the light of that room, the late evening sun reaching through the low windows. The four were knelt at a low table on the landing above her, up a wide staircase, talking in voices that resounded around the wide empty hall. These echoes were dampened only by the flowing water that drained into the pool beneath the arena in which the Sharp Voice and the Other had been fighting earlier that day.

She moved to the alcove beneath the stairs quickly, listening to the four contrasting voices, the four she was coming to know so well. The Sharp Voice's voice rose in laughter and she flinched back but did not run.

Slowly she began to make her way up the stairs.


	18. Chapter 18

Adam had to look twice before he realised that the food was disappearing from the plate they had left off to one side for Shalimar. As he watched a face peered around the corner, focusing only on the food and snatched up a handful of pasta before withdrawing back behind the cover of the dividing wall. He motioned for the others to watch, chuckling to himself. They all looked on as the action was repeated. Moments later, the face reappeared, this time looking directly as them, catching them watching. There was a moment as they stayed like that, frozen in place. Seeing the decision to go set into Shalimar's eyes, Adam acted.

"Shalimar." He called. She wavered, on the edge of turning to go. "Shalimar, come sit with us." He outstretched a hand, beckoning her back towards them. She wavered again, not quite ready to stay and yet wanting to follow the softly voiced request. Her eyes met his and a clam fell over her as she turned, still limping lightly, back to the open place beside him. Balancing on the balls of her feet, she was not quite sat at the table, still a quick escape available to her, but it was close. Adam smiled widely and returned to his food. Shalimar's eyes widened as the plate she had been eating from was retrieved and placed in front of her and a fork was pressed into her right hand. She examined the tool for a moment before watching everyone else's actions and mimicking them to indelicately spear an unlucky victim from her plate and remove it with her teeth.

"See now, wasn't that easy." Adam smiled, resisting the urge to laugh out loud. And conversation resumed with Shalimar watching on, and listening attentively.

When dinner was finished and the plates collected Mutant X began to disperse. Seeing the others leaving, Shalimar stood uncertainly and skittered down the steps back towards the room she had been allocated. Adam met her in the hallway and she skidded to a stop warily. She shied away as he reached out a hand to her shoulder, then realised what she had done and froze in place. He stopped and took a step back, giving her space. Tentatively she reached out and took hold of his hand. Running the pad of her thumb lightly across his palm she found it smooth, soft. Her question answered. Shyly, she dropped the hand, smiling to herself. Adam stayed silent, curious.

He stuck out his hand again.

"My hand. Adam's hand." Taking her own in his he opened his hands as if showing her what was inside. "Shalimar's hand." She frowned at him, pulling her hand away. Her hand was not like his. Callused it had become, and decorated with line over line of scars. She wanted to tell him how soft his hand was. How rough her own. But to think the thoughts and form the words were two things that seemed worlds apart.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing her withdraw. She felt tears welling as her desperation mounted. The things she wanted to say, to know. All of them welled within her, beyond reach. To understand - only to understand. To listen to the Other's words was not enough anymore. The Soft Voice knew - he could teach her. If only she could understand.

"Oh Shalimar." Adam soothed as silent tears escaped her grasp. Folding his arms gently around her he held her as she wept - head buried in his shoulder.

"Sh-mar." She growled gruffly, pulling back from his embrace. She had to make him understand. "A-am Ad'm" She corrected, scowling. Why did it sound so different in her own mouth. But he was smiling, and laughing. And she didn't pull back, or try to run because for the first time the noise held no threat to her. And she began to understand.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: for some reason *silly me* I thought I might be able to get away with leaving this story where it was in the last chapter, with the very beginnings of Shal's progress back into the world. But then there were 9 reviews for that chapter, every single one asking for more. So, this chapter came to life. Sorry it took so long, life is hectic and now there's also Darkle, who seems to be taking up an inordinate amount of my life. Strange how these things happen, isn't it.

6 Months Later

Jesse surfaced slowly, his mind still spinning from a half-remembered dream. As reality began to crystallise he realised just how dream-like the last few months had been. As Adam had begun Shalimar's lessons, Jesse and Shalimar had slowly moved closer and closer. Though at first she had seemed reluctant to use her new found powers of self-expression with him - much to his disappointment - Shalimar had been eager to learn what she could as quickly as she could. Words and phrases often disjointed, they became used to deciphering her speech, correcting her where necessary and taking pleasure in finding new words and concepts to teach her. It had taken nearly two months for Jesse to coax a conversation out of her, in her strange-sounding clipped language. At first he had been hurt, worried that she didn't trust him. But her appearance in his room that first night, and all those that followed it, suggested otherwise. When questioned by Adam or Emma, she had simply scowled and refused to talk further to any of them. It had been Emma that had first suggested that perhaps Shalimar was shy. Finally approaching her and telling her precisely how much she meant to him, Jesse had woken the next morning to find himself sharing a bed with the blond, and they had not slept separately since.

As soon as the cast had been removed from her wrist Adam had begun her training again, soft at first, simply to lessen her boredom. It had taken several accidents before they could get her to fully understand her own strength in comparison to theirs. The words, they found, were too complex. The ideas of mutation, genetics, even the prejudice of the world around her that she had once known all too well. She couldn't grasp the concepts, let alone the vocabulary needed to talk about them. So she learned control through Brennan's pain, and Jesse's, as they sparred and lost. Suddenly they were all very aware of how much Shalimar had been holding back when she'd sparred with them in the past. Even injured, still scarily thin and jumping every time one off them moved too fast or raised their voice out of the structure and rules of the dojo, she could still leave one or both of them groaning on medilab beds as she hovered uncertainly, not understanding what she had done wrong. Somehow the assurance that she could fight back and respond in kind in the boundaries of the training arena, gave her the courage that showed perhaps the tiniest glimpse of the imposing and strong willed woman she used to be. And control, though slow to return, was appearing bit by bit.

He shot up in bed suddenly, the decision to move having bypassed his conscious mind. Taking a moment to readjust he found the other side of the bed empty and a soft noise carrying through from the bathroom. Moving to the door he pushed it open gently to find Shalimar stood naked before the full length mirror, humming some nameless tune to herself. She looked up as the door opened, eyes wide.

"I wake you?" She asked, frowning for a moment before correcting. "I woke you?"

"Yes," He smiled, telling her he didn't mind. "What were you doing?"

"A picture, look." She said, turning back to the mirror. Raising her hands above her head - in the position she had been chained in he realised with a shudder of revulsion - Shalimar turned her head to one side and looked at herself out of the corner of her eye.

Stepping forward Jesse gasped as he realised she was right, a picture was revealed in the soft white lines that decorated her body. Many had faded now, barely visible, but the bright fluorescent light brought them into harsh relief. Splayed across her body in soft lines and suggestions of shapes, a woman and a man took part in a primal dance. The lines her body naturally drew had been made part of the picture and here and there were gaps where her skin ended. He shuddered again, fighting very hard not to swear, words spoken in anger or hate still had power over her. He wrapped his arms around her stomach, smiling his approval as her hands came down to cover his. "Come back to bed. We're going into town tomorrow, that's a big step. We have to be well rested."

Gently drawing her away, Jesse was relieved when she followed. Once back in bed, Jesse shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the vision of two people engraved into creamy white skin.

AN2: There'll probably be two chapters, then I'm afraid it really will be the end.


	20. Chapter 20

The next day was bright, the joyous summer's rays making Jesse wince as he wandered into the main hall, heading for the kitchen. As usual Shalimar had been up long before him and he smiled as he found her sat in the kitchen chatting animatedly with Emma. Once he had wondered what they could spend so much time talking about. They spent most of their days together, so they couldn't be talking about what they'd done. The one time he'd tried to listen in he had been caught, two indignant faces staring him down.

"You guys ready to go?" Brennan's voice called through from the garage, echoing strangely down the hall. "Is Jesse even out of bed yet?" He grinned as he reached the doorway, spotting the other man. "If you want breakfast you better hurry, man. Else you're going to miss the bus."

"Not in the car?" Shalimar questioned, frowning, as the others had to suppress laughter.

"He means we'll leave without him." Emma explained quietly.

"Don't. Jesse has to come too." She said, concerned now. This time they did laugh.

"Don't worry Shalimar, I'm just teasing." Brennan put in. Shalimar crossed her arms and sank back into the chair, pouting. She had been introduced to the concept of teasing and was still unsure why anyone would want to do such a thing. Things were confusing enough without lies or 'teasing'.

,,,

Jesse watched as Brennan and Emma made their way into the supermarket for food supplies, leaving him and Shalimar to wander through the mall.

It was a busy weekend and, in Jesse's mind, a little like throwing Shalimar in at the deep end, bringing her down here. But she had always loved the place and with the look on her face now, Jesse's apprehension was beginning to fade a little. She looked enthralled. Her eyes were wide open and he was sure if he let go of her hand where it rested in the crux of his arm, she'd be away like a rocket and into the crowds.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked over the noise of the sheer quantity of people. She spared him a momentary glance before turning her attention back to the huge expanse of shop fronts, cafés, elevators and people that filled her vision. He laughed lightly at her distraction. "OK, let's go sit in the café and you can keep looking." They took two seats around a small table outside of the café, in the small area cordoned off, and Jesse watched as a waitress meandered over to them. She stopped beside their table and glared at them. Shalimar cringed back a little. Jesse smiled at the girl, trying not to show his annoyance. It was the first time he'd seen Shalimar back away like that for a while. He had thought she was finished with thinking she was the target of everyone's anger. But it was hard to explain why sometimes people were unable to express their anger to its source and so passed it on to the rest of mankind. Human nature wasn't a good enough explanation any more.

"We'll have a coffee, black, two sugars, a coke and and a bowl of strawberries and cream." He finished, spotting his favourite on the menu. The girl grunted her confirmation and wandered off again. Free of the scowling menace, Shalimar was busy examining their neighbours on the table next to theirs. A little girl grinned widely at the attention she was getting and poked her tongue out at her.

"Shalimar, don't stare." Jesse advised as the girl's mother turned to find out what had her daughter's attention.

,,,

Almost an hour later, having made good friends with both the girl and her mother and devoured the strawberries with relish, Jesse and Shalimar were making their way back down the concourse towards the main entrance where Emma and Brennan would be waiting for them.

Jesse was reaching up to wave at their friends, having spotted them first when the face jumped out at Shalimar from the crowds.

And as soon as she saw him, he became all she saw.

He glanced her way, his eyes - as dark and hidden as always - flitting over her without focusing on her.

He was scanning the crowds for someone.

Looking for her.

How did he know she was here?

But he hadn't seen her.

She still had time.

Time to run.

,,,

Kevin Parteridge - once known by one lost girl by the knife he wielded - saw a flash of blond as a girl dashed across the hall and thought no more of it as his wife appeared from a nearby shop. He greeted her with a smile and an embrace before leading her towards the big main doors at the entrance.


	21. Chapter 21 finis

Her breath caught and she found herself running simply because she could and the last time she had seen that face she hadn't been able to. Jesse called her name and she stumbled as she fought a battle with herself over whether or not to stop for him. Unable to catch her balance as she tried to run on, she fell, sliding across the slick, well-polished floor. Jesse was at her side, hand on her shoulder as she tried to look behind him to see if the Knife was still there, if he was following. It took her a few minutes to gather herself enough to realise Jesse was talking to her. He slowly helped her to her feet, an arm around her shoulder, holding her close. She took in the worried gazes of several on-lookers, and others who rushed away from the scene she was making, and turned and hid her face in Jesse's chest as he shushed her panicked breaths.

Jesse scanned the crowd, searching for an aggressive face or someone he knew that could prompt such a reaction from the feral. He could see nothing. All the faces around him were sympathetic or worried, those slightly further away looked pitying, one or two looked annoyed at the disturbance to their day, there was an angry face here or there that Shalimar had pushed out of her way in her flight. But all were in response to her current condition, there were no grudges here. He looked back down on the blond as he spotted Emma and Brennan making their way over having seen the disturbance, questions in their eyes.

Those questions were voiced as soon as they were close enough.

"What happened?"

"Is she ok?"

"The Knife, here, found me, he's looking." Shalimar exclaimed as she saw the other two arriving.

"There's no one here looking for you, Shalimar. I can't see anyone here looking for you." Jesse soothed.

"I can't sense any one here who wants to harm you, Shalimar. No one at all."

"He were here. I saw his." Her panic was escalating at the Knife's non-appearance, destroying all her lessons in English.

"If he was here, he isn't here now, Shal. And we're here, OK? We're going to keep you safe." Emma explained, trying to block out the feral's growing panic in her own mind. She looked up at the other two. "Back to the car?"

,,,

Her forehead rested on her knees she stared at her stomach and fought to breathe. With the seatbelt wrapped around her midsection she felt trapped, unable to move. Emma's arm around her shoulders; the men outside shouting. The picture burned into her retina of his face HIS FACE staring at her with pale eyes through the window of his own car. Parked, by chance or mischance, right beside theirs. With him in it.

Her inability to explain, to word her sheer terror, hadn't mattered. As soon as that man had looked across, seen her, his own fear had given him away to the team. Jesse and Brennan had stormed from the car as if the devil himself were behind them, and all but dragged the man from his own.

Risking to open her eyes, she looked out the window and her eyes met those of a boy. No more than ten, he watched her wide-eyed as his father was lifted from the floor by the taller man. His face paled as crackles of blue light started to flicker around Brennan's empty fist. She stepped out of the car.

"Brennan, don't. Look look, there's a little one. A child, Brennan. You can't" Brennan barely spared her a glance.

"How do we know he won't do to this kid, what he did to you. We might be doing him a favour." He growled in response. Jesse looked ready to finish the job if Brennan felt unable, light on his feet as if he were about to go into a fight.

"It's his son, Brennan. His son. He was doing a job, working, being paid. He had to get it right. Had to practice."

"That doesn't explain what he" Jesse stumbled over his words. He hadn't told any one else about the form her delicate scars took. "The picture, Shalimar." She held his eyes for a moment and then turned to the man, still dangling off the floor in Brennan's grip. It took all her strength to look him in the eyes. And a little more; borrowed from her friends around her to ask the question.

"Why?"

"I wanted to make something for myself of myself." The honesty resounded in the answer, choked through Brennan's grip as he was forced to lower him to the ground, his arm tiring, his anger waning from it's original tempest.

"Let's go home." Her voice was quiet, but something had changed within her, in that one truth. She stood a little taller, her face a little calmer, her eyes a little softer. Jesse's hand on Brennan's shoulder drew him away, reluctant, and the man scampered back to his wife and son. Shalimar took her seat again, letting out a soft breath that she didn't intend to be a sigh, smiling softly as Emma rested a hand on hers. A silent reassurance. You did the right thing. Jesse pointed Brennan at the passenger seat and, still fuming silently, he took it as Jesse got in the driver's. Unable to hold his silence longer, Brennan turned in his seatbelt as they drew away from the other car. The man was stood outside of the passenger side door, his wife in his arms, his son at his side.

"Why, Shalimar? Why did you stop me?" She looked at him for a moment, considering.

"Some day, ask Adam why he thought to play god. We don't judge Adam, Brennan."

"This is different. Adam's never hurt us." Shalimar held his gaze, challenging. "OK, he's never physically hurt us in ourselves. He set out to help us originally."

"But do you think that was his original plan, or do you think he was just trying to make a name for himself in the industry. He wasn't so old then, Brennan. Not so world-wise. Just a kid trying to do a job right." Brennan went to retort and stopped short. Jesse was grinning at her in the rear view mirror.

"Shalimar?" He asked. "Are you ok?" Emma was grinning now too, and Brennan was starting to put the pieces together.

"I'm fine. I'm good. I'm I'd like to go home."

"Yes ma'am." Jesse replied.

AND THAT'S A WRAP! Hope you enjoyed the show, ladies and gents. Please come back next time :D If you wouldn't mind leaving a review I'd be very grateful!


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